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            Our Paradise
                                                       Ana Zahler          xiyvza@hotmail.com 

OH... THOSE TICO STYLE ADDRESSES III AND FINAL PART

Many years ago, a Canadian gave me two lines of a page to write a TV station

address. I thought he was too stingy... A little bitty tiny piece of paper

to write an address! I gave him a whole normal size page with the written

address required. He thought I was kidding. Then, he asked me to show the

TV station location on the map. He wrote the address in he two lines of a

page he gave me. "My method saves time, money, complications and it's

easier" he told me. However, his method wasn't functional in Costa Rica.

He complained many times he had to spend a lot of time and phone service to

give his office location in a tico style address because any Costarrican

understood by streets and avenues.

Maybe until a runner, bill collector or post man became a Deputy or the

President of the country, this addresses style shall change. He will have

the power to replace the large addresses by street and avenue numbers. The

post man shall find out easier Mr. Gerundio Morales' house with this kind of

address:

Mr. Gerundio Morales

house #494

3 Avenue, 5 Street

area code, Guanacaste

Instead of this nowadays example:

Mr. Gerundio Morales

white house with oak bench in the porch

and big fern hanging

in front of Mr. Fermín Cuadra's farm

2 blocks north from the local clinic

La Vuelta del Colocho of Santa Rosa

of San Pascual of the Tabladas

of Bello Potrero

of Achiote of Nicoya

Guanacaste

With such as extra large address, my mother ends writing it at the other side

of the envelope... Even the companies and many businesses will find out

easier the first example. The legal secretaries, the door per door salesmen

and even the school teachers -when they register the students-would love the

first example to write an address.

I liked a lot the good news about Correos de Costa Rica (postal service): in

Santo Domingo of Heredia is going to start a pilot plan to use addresses by

streets and avenues numbered. I wish this plan is working right now. So, I

will save a lot of ink, time and my hand won't get tired when I write my ant

who lives there.

Because you asked for it, I'm going to tell two more stories I lived with the

tico style addresses:

There was the day when I decided to quit the door per door sales. However, I

didn't quit the sales of all because I became a tele marketer. It was easier

to find out costumers by telephone, I worked better and the income was huge,

superb, out of the world. But... I couldn't get ride of the tico style

addresses. There is not vaccine against them. I always tried to write

simple, easy and exact addresses in order to prevent the bill collector to

get lost. I even wrote all the necessary information such as "there is no

sign for the business, it's located in a two floor light green house".

Any day, a bill collector couldn't get a bill paid because of a tico style

address. He came back very angry at the office and yelled at the coworker

who wrote the address: "I look for the saloon and I never found it out".

The address indicated the business he look for was located in front of the "

saloon". In fact, he look for the dancing saloon, the meeting hall which is

called the community saloon in Spanish, the beauty parlor

(beauty saloon in Spanish) and the pool hall (pool saloon in Spanish). But

the business wasn't in front of any of those "saloons". Then the coworker

specified it was the Jehovah Witness Saloon -in Spanish and Kingdom Hall in

English.

The first XXXL address I wrote was more or less like: "from the old

Periféricos supermarket in San Rafael of Escazú, there are two yields, take

the first at the right and then turn left, there is a cross, turn left and

then turn right, until there is an old car, continue walking until there is

an unpaved street, continue walking until other unpaved street, turn left,

continue walking until the dead end, fourth house before the dead end, you

cannot get lost because there is a wall totally covered by purple orchids

next to the house". The boss kidded around about it and told me to record

the address. A coworker asked me if I as telling a bed time story to help

children to sleep. The bill collector came back with the following comment:

"I believe it will be very difficult for a thieve to go to that place".

Years passed. I wonder how to get there if the old abandoned car is not

there any more.